Over a month ago I started a list of the worst hair and facial hair stylings in Major League Baseball. Then, I totally forgot about it. Until yesterday.
I know that you, my viewers, have an almost infinite array of blogs to choose from if you want to read about how hopeless the Cubs are, or about the race in the NL West, or about what a great pitcher Felix Hernandez is. You can find such stuff anywhere, and almost anyone could give you better information on any of those things than I. You come to The Fair Base Ballist to find out which ballplayers have the worst hair. You probably don’t really need me to tell you that, either. But maybe, just maybe, you need the occasional breather from the Cubs, the NL West race, and Felix Hernandez. The FBB is here for you in those times.
And so, I give to you Part Two of the hair-ible countdown. (Part One is here, if you’d like to catch up.)
#5/#4. Bobby Jenks and Ryan Franklin: What these men have growing on their faces defy the term “chin animal.” There could be actual chipmunks hiding in there and we would never know it.
#3. Tim Lincecum: There can be no doubt that Timmy looks more like a little girl out of the 16th or 17th century than any major leaguer in history. I congratulate him on the achievement.
#2. Jayson Werth: Wilder looking than any Oceanic Flight 815 survivor ever was.
#1. Manny Ramirez: No ballplayer’s locks have ever disturbed me more. Perhaps because I can’t shake the notion that they’re alive and almost certainly hostile. Manny’s hair may yet kill us all.