[Image of the Angels logo.] Opening statement. Brief summary of situation. Obvious Albert fact. Obvious CJ fact. Obvious money-related fact. Snarky comment regarding math/numbers/money.
[Array of photos depicting Albert, CJ, money bags.]
New Paragraph! Presumptive, uninteresting opinion. Opinion. Opinion. Filler sentence bridging to another opinion. Wildly speculative comment. Another more realistic (but still speculative) comment. Anaheim fact. Stale “LA Angels of Anaheim” joke. Cryptic “Angels In The Outfield” joke/reference.
New Paragraph! Fact. Opinion. Fact. Opinion. Opinion. Opinion. Fact. Open-ended question. Follow-up open-ended question. Formulaic observation. Innocent jab at CJ. Yawn-inducing praise of Albert. Opinion. Opinion. Further speculation, opinions, and facts. Well placed pun. Comparatively lame follow-up joke.