Saying Goodbye: Matt Garza

Certain things are worth breaking out of self-imposed blogging hiatuses for, and the dealing of Matt Garza to the Rangers by the Cubs is one of them.

If I have one regret in the departure of Mr. Garza, it isn’t in losing a cool guy, or a quality pitcher (although those things are worth consideration, because he certainly fits into both categories). No… 99.9% of my sadness is based on the reality that we never learned whether Matt Garza was a man, or a muppet. A muppet of a man? Or a very manly muppet?

I would rather have this question answered than whether the chicken or the egg came first. I would rather have this mystery solved than to have determined (once and for all) whether the glass is half full, or half empty.

Alas, it is not to be. And so I must wish the enigmatic character that is Matt Garza adieu with a heavy heart.

If there is one thing I DO know, it’s that the following farewell song has never been dedicated to a more deserving or more appropriate recipient.

So long, Mr. Garza.


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