Several summers ago, whilst at a New Market Rebels game with my siblings, we got into a discussion about baseball movies. Not an uncommon topic for fans such as ourselves, of course, but somehow the conversation ended with the three of us deciding that what the world really needs is a baseball film with a Christmas motif. It would be a perfect thing… you could watch it during the baseball season to get a little of the Christmas spirit, or you could watch it during the Christmas season to get a little of the baseball spirit. A win-win if ever there was one, right?
Crafting a story that involves both Christmas and baseball heavily might present a bit of a challenge. But if there are Christmas movies about martians, and terrorists, and leprechauns, I see no reason why it could not be accomplished. Consider this my petition to Hollywood. You people need to get on it. In the meantime, I would settle for a hockey Christmas movie. Especially right now. Because there is no hockey, and I miss it.
To help get the ball rolling, I have concocted several ideas that would be totally feasible.
#1- “Dominican December”: A holiday-hating minor leaguer goes to play in a winter league in the Dominican Republic only to learn he can’t escape the true meaning of Christmas.
#2- “The Shortest Shortstop”: One of Santa’s helpers spends his life making mitts in the workshop while dreaming of one day being able to play baseball himself. His fellow elves help make his dream come true by organizing a surprise game on Christmas Day. (28 minutes long and in stop motion)
#3- “Deck The Hall of Fame”: A special hour-long documentary about how Cooperstown gets gussied up for the holidays.
#4- “It’s A Wonderful Baseball Christmas Carol”: A young ballplayer about to give up on his dream is visited by the spirits of three baseball legends on Christmas Eve. They restore his faith in the game, himself, AND Christmas.
#5- Homer For The Holidays: STARRING Sarah Chalke and James Roday, with David Ogden Stiers as Santa Claus. A stressed-yet-spirited single mom and a cocky major leaguer meet on Christmas Eve in Minneapolis and fall in love within 42 minutes of so doing (although it takes another 46 minutes and a number of hilarious holiday hijinks before either will admit it). For Lifetime or the Hallmark Channel. Obviously.
#6- “How Joe Mauer Saved Christmas”: I don’t know, but according to the first poll ever conducted at The FBB, 33.33% of you thought I should write this screenplay.
How ’bout it, readers? What are your excellent ideas for a holiday baseball film?