“Hey, check it out… puppies!”

Most baseball bloggers, at this point in the year, are talking about the state of their team, or who should be traded and whatnot. I tried that. It wasn’t so much fun. So here are a bunch of random photos I scrounged up featuring baseball players and various furry critters. Cuteness…. this is much more my style.

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Timmy Lincecum shares a smooch with his French Bulldog, Cy.

Mr. and Mrs. Chase Utley with some puppies.

Brad Penny visits with some St. Bernards (at least I assume that’s what they are.)

OK. So this is a little bit scary. But you have to give Tony LaRussa props for his charitable efforts.

The Astros, apparently, have done a lot of pet calendars for charity. Which is cool, but I don’t like not knowing if this is really Craig Biggio’s dog, or if it is just some random pooch that they borrowed for a photo shoot.

I’m not sure who this random Astro is, but I love this picture. It makes me think of this.

Click here to see a photo of Ryan Dempster and his dog.

I am sort of assuming that this cat does not belong to Matt Wieters. But don’t they rather look alike?

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To be continued!

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The Darwin Barney Initiative, Phase Three

It’s time to turn the heat up on this Darwin Barney project, don’t you think? Time is running short and Darwin’s name is nowhere to be found in the All Star Game’s preliminary voting results. We’re going to have to step it up, folks. Do you really want to see Dan Uggla in the midsummer classic? And do you really think Chase Utley deserves a selection when he missed the season’s first few months? I think not. If you haven’t voted yet, get to it! And inject a little justice into your ballot by writing in Darwin Barney’s name at the bottom.

I have taken the liberty of creating a few more campaign “ads” (in a different vein than the last bunch) in attempt to bolster Darwin’s chances. Even if we can’t propel him to an All Star selection, can’t we at least get him ahead of Rickie Weeks? Let’s go, people!

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Note: these stats are slightly outdated.

“That’s just hair-ible!” Part I

Babies haven’t any hair:
Old men’s heads are just as bare;
From the cradle to the grave
Lies a haircut and a shave.

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Anyone who watches professional baseball knows that there are some disturbingly awful hair and facial-hair stylings in the major leagues. Because I am very brave, I have deigned to select the worst of the worst and present them here for you. This is to be the first of two installments.

Without further ado, I give you the 10th through 6th worst looks in Major League Baseball.

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#10. Matt Garza: Plenty of Major Leaguers opt for the chin-animal look. They all look horrible, but the reason I picked Mr. Garza over some of the others is that most of the others wouldn’t look that much better without it. Mr. Garza looks much much better without it. I don’t know what he is thinking.

#9. Andrew McCutcheon: Again, plenty of Major Leaguers have gone with a similar hairstyle. What bothers me about Andrew McCutcheon is the way he gathers it in a bunch at the back of his head. Ew.

#8. Brian Wilson: Mr. Wilson has been helped along on this list by the fact that he has a very bad history. Or should I say, a very hairy history! Ha! Ha! Ha! Get it?

#7. Corey Hart:

Oh… whoops! Wrong image. My apologies.

There we go.

#6. Chase Utley: Just plain icky. And like Mr. Garza, Mr. Utley could be doing a lot better for himself.

That about does it for today… look for Part II to be coming soon!

Predictorama 2010: Wagons East!

This is the continuance of my 2010 divisional projections… Last week I covered the West, now it’s time to tackle the big East! So let’s giddyup!

National League East – Will the Phillies keep up a stranglehold on the division? Will the Mets hit rock bottom? Will this be one of those strange random years when the Marlins win the World Series? If you’re looking for real answers to these questions, I’m sorry… you have come to the wrong place.

Philadelphia Phillies: Paparazzi will photograph Ryan Howard eating a sub at Quiznos and scandal will ensue. During a game in July, a stray kitty cat will find it’s way onto the field at Citizens Bank Park and Chase Utley will adopt it on the spot. I predict that the Phillies will not be the best team in the NL. Not because I believe it, but because I just really want to.

Florida Marlins: I’ll finally uncover the truth of Taylor Tankersley’s mysterious origins. Hanley Ramirez will learn to wink with both eyes.

Atlanta Braves: Though Tom Glavine has retired from baseball, expect him to soon announce a new deal with the National Hockey League’s Atlanta Thrashers. Jo-Jo Reyes will still be the only major leaguer with that first name.

New York Mets: Troubled mascot Mr. Met will run away from home. The health of the Mets’ key players will continue to crumble like a stale cookie. Someone will invent a memory erasing machine (like in “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”) so everyone will finally be able to forget 1969.

Washington Nationals: The Nats will make the postseason (YES THEY WILL) due entirely to the acquisition of Jason Marquis. Adam Kennedy will pitch. Nyjer Morgan will be my fantasy steal of the year.

American League East – The most frightening league in the Majors. In so many ways…

New York Yankees: Derek Jeter will introduce some exciting new products in his Avon line! Nick Swisher won’t change a bit. I will go on loving Brett Gardner no matter what he does.

Boston Red Sox: Jonathan Papelbon’s face won’t get any prettier. The green monster will eat Jeremy Hermida. Tim Wakefield will throw some more knuckle-balls.

Tampa Bay Rays: B.J. Upton will melt your heart. Carlos Pena will sign your taco.

Toronto Blue Jays: Bench coach Brian Butterfield will go on the Brian Butterfield diet plan and gain 23 pounds in the first two weeks. Edwin Encarnacion will be eaten by a garfoose.

Baltimore Orioles: The O’s will sign a member of their grounds crew to a major league contract and he’ll become the ace of their pitching staff.

“He’s a male bimbo… he’s a mimbo.”

Welcome to the Fair Base Ballist’s countdown of the biggest “mimbos” in Major League Baseball! I am beyond pleased to bring you this list.  Many bloggers before me have compiled lists of  MLB’s most attractive players, or MLB players most attractive wives, etc., Those lists are always alienating and/or offensive to someone, or at least include some really alarming selections. The mimbo list, on the other hand, is great fun for everyone! I’ve narrowed my list to 12 players. I will reveal them four at a time in three installments.

Allow me to explain what characterizes a mimbo is the world of Major League Baseball, then we’ll get started. I used four simple criteria to decide my picks: attitude, hairstyle, hobbies (modeling, recording music, yoga, etc.,) and my own success in unearthing incriminating photographs. Now, without further ado, the first installment! Enjoy!

#12: Evan Longoria (Tampa Bay Rays) Photographic evidence was surprisingly hard to come by, but Mr. Longoria still made the list by the skin of his teeth. I just feel he belongs.

#11: Ryan Theriot (Chicago Cubs) I hate to include The Riot, but it must be done! It’s out of love, I promise.

#10: Chase Utley (Philadelphia Phillies) The term “Chutley” is actually a synonym for “mimbo.”

#9: Grady Sizemore (Cleveland Indians) Doomed by his boyish good looks.

More to come, ladies and gents. Look for the final two installments in the next week or so.