It is time for Part II of Predictorama! 2011, which by now you have probably realized is little more than a mish-mash of nonsense, bias, and brain burps. Of course, 98.7% of this entire blog consists of little more than nonsense, bias, and brain burps.
Anyway, today I present you with my nonsense, bias, and brain burps (in future tense!) as the relate to the NL and AL Central divisions. I have excluded the Cubs, as I hope to churn out a Predictorama piece dedicated to them entirely before the season starts.
Kansas City journeyman Bruce Chen will take a no-hitter into the ninth inning. I’ll giggle.
Justin Morneau will return from his concussed 2010 season with a secret super power (unfortunately, it’s x-ray vision, which doesn’t really help him in baseball at all.)
I don’t have any predictions for Detroit. I just want to point out that they have got lead the majors in players native to Virginia. VA PRIDE!
AL Comeback Player of the Year: Grady Sizemore. Unless he keeps being hurt.
First place: Minnesota Twins
Last place: Cleveland Indians
Adam Wainwright is totally getting Wally Pipped by Cotton Dickson.
While on an early evening pleasure cruise in the Goodyear Blimp, Prince Fielder suddenly and inexplicably falls from the craft. Fortunately, he is wearing his game jersey, which acts as a parachute and he is able to float safely down to the ground.
Hunter Pence and Ryan Braun will meet and engage in a staring contest. It ends in a draw after 13 hours.
First Place: Because the Cubs aren’t a clever choice, I refuse to pick anyone. I’m bitter like that.
Last Place: Sorry, Pittsburgh, I really am. Well… not really, but sort of.