Saying Goodbye: Paul Maholm

Dear Paul Maholm,

Though your time in Chicago was but brief, I would like to thank you for your services. You pitched like an All Star these past few weeks, and I particularly appreciate the positive attitude you brought to the table (as evidenced through your fine Twitter account, among other things.)

May success follow you to Atlanta, and beyond. God bless.

Yours very sincerely,



Rhyme-o-rama 2012! Part Two

Cubs baseball, and I mean real Cubs baseball, gets underway just the day after tomorrow! Squee! Excitement!

For now, here is the second installment of Rhyme-o-rama 2012. Look for the final one to be published some time before the first pitch of the season is thrown out.


Soriano is old and frail,
But capable, still, of kicking some tail.

Ryan Dempster will start day one
He eats up innings and is oh-so-fun.

David DeJesus: The bunting champ.
But what will he accomplish outside of spring camp?

James Russell may posess some hustle,
But he isn’t a batter, so it doesn’t matter.

Jeff Baker has earned a place in my heart,
He excels in that benchy/utility part.

We got this new chap by the name of Maholm,
When he faces the batters I hope he will stall ’em.

Young Steve Clevenger out-caught Castillo
Now our backup backstop he shall be-o.

I know next to nothing of Mr. Joe Mather
But I am inclined to like him, rather.

1B: Anthony Rizzo waits in the wings.
For now, LaHair will handle things.

I tried pretty hardzija,
But nothing rhymes with Samardzija.

Welcome to Chicago: Paul Maholm

Southpaw starter Paul Maholm (formerly of the Pittsburgh Pirates) and the Cubs have reportedly come to terms on a one-year contract worth $4.25mm. According to MLB Trade Rumors, it includes a $6.5mm club option for 2013, with a $500k buyout. Paul himself announced that he was Chiago-bound last night via Twitter (speaking of which, hey! We’ve got another tweeting Cub! Yay.)

Welcome to the zoo  asylum  dungeon of shattered dreams and feeble hopes  fold, Mr. Maholm. It’s good to have you.

2010 MLB Year in Superlatives: Part Two

Welcome to Part Two of the FBB’s year in review! This will be the last installment. As far as I know…

Are you ready for some more bests, worsts, and mosts? Then read on, my fair viewer, read on.


Outstanding gloviness: Oddly enough, two of the coolest plays of the year belonged to pitchers. How ’bout three more cheers for Mark Buehrle’s Opening Day gem and Paul Maholm’s equally awesome (in my opinion) play from just a week later.

Greatest Robbery:

My top giggle-inducing moments: I did feel bad for laughing so hard when Miguel Olivo ended up being hurt from this play, but it was one of the funniest “slides” I’ve ever seen.

Also, this:


Minor League call-up to remember: The Pirates Erik Kratz. *Sniff*

Best blog-post incorporating the Cubs and “Lost”: This piece legitimately made me LOL.

Postseason highlight: Roy Halladay’s no-hitter is an easy choice. It gave even Phillies anti-enthusiasts such as myself something to cheer about.

Coolest lady: 18-year-old Japanese knuckle-baller Eri Yoshida, of course.

Random video and audio clips of the year: Timmy the Wizard and Barry Zito: Unicorn Master… On a side note, either one of those could be adapted into a sensational TV series.

Greatest Quotes : Jamie Moyer, on being informed that he had just become the oldest pitcher in MLB history to throw a shutout:

Really? Cool.

And a gem from lovable Cubs outfielder Sam Fuld:

102 years is not that long.

Goodbyes: Lou Piniella, Cito Gaston, Bobby Cox, Joe Torre (?), Ken Griffey Jr… I mean, the list just goes on and on.

And finally…

Thing of the Year: To me, the most memorable and outstanding  thing/event/game of 2010 was the Armando Galarraga- Jim Joyce game. It provided as potent a fodder for the waxings of baseball sentimentalists (like me) as ever there was. I’ll remember this game longer than I will remember that the Giants won the World Series, or that Edwin Jackson and Ubaldo Jiminez and whoever else threw no-hitters. The behavior of both men was exemplary. The class of Mr. Galarraga and Mr. Joyce will stand out in my mind far longer than the perfect game would have.




Week Two In Review

Week Two of the Major League Season: In which there was Wrigley’s home opener, errors, home runs, #42’s, and some disturbingly fine weather.

Around the Majors

Outstanding Gloviness: The two coolest defensive plays of the year so far are both by starting pitchers. This week it’s Pittsburgh’s Paul Maholm. I’m putting my money on Jorge De La Rosa for next week!

Fashion Statement: The Braves and Padres donned throwback uniforms in yesterday’s match-up. If I never mentioned it before, I LOVE throwbacks. Love, love, love ’em. So any time two teams have a throwback day, you’ll be hearing about it.

Atlanta’s spiffy powder-blue duds.

“Sigh” Young Award: I bestow this week’s trophy upon Milwaukee’s LaTroy Hawkins. With many thanks.

Houston, we have a problem: It took the Astros until yesterday afternoon to tally their first Win. No 0-162 season for the ‘Stros this year! 1-161 still looking like a possibility, though.

“Blast” of the Week: Did you see Aubrey Huff’s inside-the-park homer? My favorite part is Mark DeRosa pretty much lying tummy-down on the grass to emphasize the need for a slide (although it wasn’t really necessary.)

Disabled: Brian Fuentes, Brian Roberts, Jimmy Rollins, Esmailin Caridad

As For The Cubs…

Superhero of the Week: I wish there were more candidates… I’m going ahead and awarding this one to Kosuke Fukudome for his game-winning hit Wednesday.

Kitten Eaters of the Week: Alfonso Soriano, Jeff Samardzija (two weeks in a row for the Shark. Not a good thing, but I’ve had enough of the “trade him to the Bears” jokes already.)

Called Up: Jeff Gray… woo-hoo.

On The Right Track: Theodore Lilly pitched 4 innings in Iowa on Wednesday. He will make another minor-league start next week and hopefully be back with the Cubs before the end of the month.

Hug of the Week: Marlon Byrd. I just wanted to hug him about six different times, didn’t you?

Signs of the Apocalypse: Derrek Lee was ejected from yesterday’s contest by home-plate umpire Angel Campos. This is about as common as an ivory-billed woodpecker sighting. And the only thing rarer than ivory-billed woodpeckers and D-Lee ejections? Eighty-degree weather in Chicago in APRIL.